I’ve been a mess for so long, sometimes I forget about it, and think I’m happy and then in the blink of an eye I’m craving that sting, that burn, that lighter. The scars I have are faint, but I know they’re there.. I stare at the erasers, and the pins.. It’s something no one will ever see, but it’ll always be in the back of my head. I’ve tried so hard to be happy, and sometimes I really am, I can honestly say that..but it’s only when I’m with/talking to certain people, which I don’t see as good at all. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so dependent, I want so badly to be independent, and to be happy on my own, to not fake that smile, or hide any pain. Why is it so hard? And then it leads to more issues, like my trust issues, and my insecurities.. It’s all one big mess that I don’t know how to fix.
Appearance.
I hate that appearance matters so much to everyone. Including myself. I wish that no one cared what other people thought, like how people don’t care about politics. We spend so much time in front of the mirror admiring ourselves, instead of admiring the world around us. Appearance has basically taken over our lives. We try so hard to be accepted by society that we forget what actually matters.
Being around you keeps a smile on my face no matter what, I’ve never been so comfortable around someone. You make me happy and I’m happy I met you and actually took risks, I don’t care how dumb you are about certain things or anything, you’re such a little cutie, and your kisses and hugs make me just happy. <3
